I distinctly remember the first time I asserted my first grown-up decision.
It was the summer before college, and enrollment season was fast approaching.
My heart was set on majoring in literature, when a well-meaning adult tried to convince me otherwise.
"There's no future in literature," she said. "Major in [X] instead. You'll have plenty of opportunities abroad if you choose that program."
Stubborn 16-year-old that I was, I pursued literature anyway and was thrilled when I secured a teaching position 2 months before my college graduation.
I also remember making another grown-up decision to resign from said teaching position.
Another well-meaning adult took me aside and said, "I don't think you're making the right decision here. First, you drop out of law school. Now, you're resigning from your job. It seems like you're making a habit of not finishing things."
That stung.
But in retrospect, what would it have meant to "finish" law school, when I had no intention of practicing law?
Or what would it have meant to "finish" teaching?
Teaching for the rest of my life?
Making grown-up decisions will never be not terrifying.
Even now when I make major life-changing decisions, I'm paralyzed by 10,000 what-if scenarios.
And contrary to what you may be thinking after reading about my past decisions, I do not always go against other people's advice.
In fact, I actively seek out advice to add to my mental list of pros and cons.
I don't exactly remember how I first broke the news to my dad that I was getting married, but I do remember that his reaction was something like this, "You're all grown up and perfectly capable of making your own decision."
I was prepared for unsolicited advice but never that.
Sometimes it feels good to know the people you love trust you to make your own grown-up decisions. Other times, you just wish somebody else would step in and do it for you.
Late last year, I resigned from a perfectly adequate job.
It was a job I was good at (4 years in the making) but also something that I had grown to resent towards the end.
Even though the post-pandemic market was awful, I turned in my papers without securing another job right after.
It felt like the right thing to do at the moment, but the 2 months of unemployment that followed were excruciating.
Finally, I landed a much better job, and everything was going pretty well till the day I received another offer.
It was the kind of offer I would have taken in a heartbeat before meeting my current managers and teammates.
But the older you are, the more you realize that the world is not all black and white.
You don't always make decisions based on what's "good" and what's "bad".
Sometimes, or should I say most of the time, you need to decide between two good choices or even two bad choices.
"What should I do?" I asked.
"Take it! Opportunities like that don't come every day," said one friend.
"Don't take it! Why risk your own happiness right now?" said another.
Still, another voice said to me, "Take it or don't take it, it doesn't matter. What matters is that you're ready to face the consequences of whatever decision you make."