Illuminative Ilocos Day 1: Marcos Museum, Paoay Church, and Sand Dunes

I’m a slacker when it comes to big-group trips, especially big-group trips taken cared of by a trusted travel agency.

Earlier this year, I went on a solo summer trip (part-soul searching, part-beach getaway) to Bantayan Island, a little off the coast of Northern Cebu. I had to start preparations at least three months before the actual trip. I had to do my own research, book my own accommodations, and plot my own itinerary – which was as fun as it was stressful for a first-time hermit vacationer. (For the sake of shameless self-promotion, see https://thegrammarfuhrerin.wordpress.com/2015/04/26/eat-pray-backpack-bantayan-island/)

Last week’s sembreak trip, I decided to mix things up a bit from my default Obsessive-Compulsive tendencies. I kicked back, relaxed, and let my big-group take care of everything, save packing my travel bag.

There’s beauty in slacking off. I kid you not. For one thing, I knew next to nothing about our sembreak destination this year: Ilocos. Heck, I did not even have the faintest inkling that we would be visiting both Ilocos Norte and Ilocos Sur (nor did I know that they were God-knows-how-many hours apart). On the up side, I did not have to stay up overthinking (like I usually do) the night before the trip, even if I did not sleep in my own bed but in a cheap-o hotel 10 minutes away from the airport…

… Okay, so maybe I did do a little extra thinking as evidenced by my forethought to book a nearby hotel, so as 1) to not miss our 4.50 a.m. flight to Clark and 2) to steal a few extra hours of sleep knowing that I was in for hours and hours of road trip. Still, I slept like a baby who woke up at 3.00 a.m. crying for a cup of coffee.

I met up with my big-group travel buddies in the airport: ten of which were my all-female co-teachers (two years ago, I would have cringed at the thought of vacationing with teachers, but I learned that they’re actually fun, normal, happy human beings once you take the whiteboard and hormonal students out of the picture) plus one lone gent, the boyfriend of one of my colleagues. We had “everybody’s mama” Miss Maturan, “everybody’s best friend” Miss Balbuena, “resident travel coordinator” Miss Portarco, “resident butt-of-all-jokes” Miss Ayco, “four girls” Gildee, Fevy, Charmaine, and Irene, and the “big four” Miss Briones, Miss Valencia, future Mr. Valencia, and (regrettably) me. We were a fantastic set; I dare say that this year’s group had far better dynamic and chemistry than last year’s Sagada-Baguio big-group (cough cough) (wink wink).

Here’s the whole squad… Well, almost. Miss Ayco keeps disappearing off with Kuya Joseph.

We landed in Clark, Pampanga at around 6.00 a.m. and were greeted by our favorite Happy Juanderer driver, Kuya Joseph. What is “Happy Juanderer,” you ask? It’s the clever name of our very clever travel agency based in both Ilocos Sur and Cebu. Mind you, Sarah and Dominic did not pay me to advertise (but I won’t say no to a Batanes tour discount!) Happy Juanderer gave us such a “juander-ful” time last year in Sagada-Baguio, it only made sense that we got them again for Ilocos Norte-Ilocos Sur.

The We-Could-Have-Fallen-Off-Banaue-Rice-Terraces pose? Nailed it.

From 6.30 a.m. to 3.00 p.m. (with minimal stops for meals and toilets), we traveled from Pampanga, Tarlac, Pangasinan, La Union, Ilocos Sur, and all the way up to Ilocos Norte. There was really no way of mentally preparing yourself for a land trip of that sort. Other travel blogs would tell you to get a neck pillow. I’d tell you to get two – the other one for your you-know-what, because it’s going to hurt. A lot. “Abandon all comfort, all ye who enter.”

Blessed are the blissfully ignorant of Philippine geography.

Our first stop was the Marcos Museum, and we had just 30 minutes to gawk at the glorification of the elsewhere-villainized former dictator and his wife before the curators shooed us out for closing time.

The Candid-Shot-Taken-With-A-Selfie-Stick pose? Also nailed it.

My unnecessary side trip to the souvenir shop (and subsequent monologue as to whether or not I should buy the Ferdinand Marcos muscle tee) nearly cost me a brief moment to gawk at the preserved dead body of the man himself.

The tomb (if one were to call it that) was an outrageous display of wealth, the macabre, and Imelda’s handiwork. To me, it felt like a theme park haunted house attraction, complete with dim lighting and creepy music. Spectators were made to walk around the dead body, covered with seven layers of wax (preserved in the same manner as Mao Zedong and Ho Chi Minh, according to one of the BODYguards – geddit?) After my first round, I quietly slipped in with the next batch to have my second look, because I’m weird like that.

Up next was Paoay Church. It was only one of the very few World Heritage Sites I was able to visit, so I was pretty ecstatic. If I had known that it was also a film location of “Suddenly It’s Magic” starring Mario Freaking Maurer, I would have just died. Nevertheless, the UNESCO status got me sold. Paoay Church was beautiful inside and out. It even had a metal pulpit to boot!

Church interior. Pretty snazzy for an old place.

The interiors filled you with awe and reverence, but the exteriors with its sweeping gardens and colonial-inspired plaza buildings made you want to run around and take jump shots.

This place has got the Imma-spend-my-whole-Sunday-right-here potential spot on: Church, restos, cafes…

Because Kuya Joseph liked to live dangerously (which made him a stark contrast but very interesting love interest to the aforementioned resident butt-of-all-jokes, Miss Ayco – I totally shipped them, by the way), he took it upon himself to drive us really fast to the famous Sand Dunes in time to catch the sunset. With very little daylight left, nine of us clung to our 4×4’s for dear life, saw the sun set on the West Philippine Sea, and then went night sand surfing.

It was pretty adventure-packed for the first day, and by the time we got to our hotel room in Casa Victoria, Pagudpud, roughly three hours later, I slept with sand in my pants and couldn’t care less.

Stay tuned for Days 2, 3, and 4 of the Illuminative Ilocos Series!